Everyone had a motive, but only one character committed vile, despicable murder, as the El Cajon Elks staged a comic murder mystery show on April 17.
Everyone had a motive, but only one character committed vile, despicable murder, as the El Cajon Elks staged a comic murder mystery show on April 17.
“The Case of the Malted Falcon,” was a takeoff on the classic private-detective movie “The Maltese Falcon.” The cast, drawn from among the Elks and the companion Elkonettes auxiliary members, billed their acting troupe as the “1812 Players.” The event was a benefit raising money for programs assisting local youth and military veterans, with tickets priced at $15 apiece. Honored guests at the dinner theater production included Pearl Harbor survivors.
The evening kicked off with a social hour, followed by a dinner of in-house catered sandwiches, salad and dessert. Past Exalted Ruler Tony Zambelli and his cooking crew offered playgoer-diners a tasty choice among homemade meatballs or mild or spicy sausage filling their sandwiches. (The tender, delicious meatballs, which were topped with chunky tomato sauce, ran out early as a crowd-pleasing favorite.)
Don Sauter, who directed the play, is another past exalted ruler of the Lodge. He opened the evening formally by acknowledging the guests.
“We are here honoring tonight the survivors,” he said. “As long as there are veterans, Elks never forget that.”
The minimally staged play, running nearly two hours with a brief intermission, was replete with common mystery devices and stock characters, rewritten slightly askew to heighten the play’s humor. The storyline involved transport of an expensive chocolate bird sculpture, known as “The Malted Falcon,” on a train traveling from “the sleepy little town of El Cajon” to New York City. But the artwork confection had gone missing. Private detective Sam Club (portrayed by Scott Blaisdell) was aided in his investigation into the stolen chocolate carving by his vivacious, voluptuous blonde vixen of a secretary, Velma Vavoomski (Carleen Erwin). The only passengers aboard the train were involved in one way or another with business aspects of displaying “The Malted Falcon,” purportedly valued at over $1 million as the creation of recently deceased sculptress Gertrude Hawkins, or marketing small replicas as a new candy treat. None of the passengers had stepped off the moving train, but the statue was gone. Where was “The Malted Falcon”?
The passengers were all suspects initially. Detective Club called them “a sticky fingered bunch of people.” Robin Hawkins (Ron Smith), heir to the “Falcon” fortune as sole living relative of Gertrude Hawkins, appeared to be beyond suspicion. But was he? His business-venture partner, celebrity chef Rachel Raven (Patty Hamilton, current Exalted Ruler), could have committed the crime, as she was an art collector who might have prized the chocolate sculpture more than the deal to mass-produce “Chick-Chicky-Booms” miniatures of the “Falcon” using its “secret formula” chocolate recipe.
Also on the list of suspects was Harvey Featherby (Tom Kilpela), passing himself off deceptively as a “falconer extraordinaire” in pursuit of establishing a nationwide falconry club, but actually a corporate spy for “Hershtle’s Chocolate Company,” who sought to steal the new ”irresistible” malted chocolate formula. Casey Stourbridge (Don Erwin) could have absconded with the edible bird. The Stourbridge family fortunes had failed, and Casey had lost ownership of the railroad on which the transport train traveled, even as he was relegated to entertaining passengers as a pretend railroad engineer. He admitted he wanted to buy back his train. And what of supposed birds-rights activist Abigail Nightingale (Pat Jankowski)? Her mantra, “Save a bird, eat a cow,” was actually a cover for an assumed identity, for she was the Gertrude Hawkins, who had faked her own death to drive up the value of her sculpture. And indeed, “private dick” Club and Vavoomski became suspect too as the play’s acts unfolded. Club was down on his luck. Vavoomski was revealed to be a hard drinker, a pill-popper and to exhibit telltale signs of chocolate addiction.
Background transition music was light-hearted and spoofing, featuring themes from the “Pink Panther,” “Mission Impossible,” and cartoons. The volunteer actors handled the play’s action and dialogue well. Don Erwin was especially notable for quipping good ad-libs when another cast member flubbed or the action flagged. And joshing about the fraternal group included reference to an unbelievable alibi as “a cock and bull and Elks story.” Another sly query was, “Don’t you read the Elks Bulletin?”
Rounding out the cast was Miss Jessica Marbles (Kathy Monsees, another past exalted ruler), as amateur sleuth and writer of mystery novels, who served as something of a narrator, recapping clues and details after each act in the play. Miss Marbles, near the play’s end, raced offstage, excitedly declaring she knew who had taken “The Malted Falcon” and why. A bloodcurdling scream was heard behind the curtain—and Miss Marbles was found dead, strangled with a red bandanna. When the other passengers reassembled after the shocking discovery of a murder victim atop the sculpture theft, each sported a red bandanna. With the situation this ambiguous, anyone could have done it.
At that point, Sauter stepped in again, asking playgoers that “solve” the mystery by filling in cards at the center of each table, to identify the culprit and the reason for the murder. Attendees handing in the first three cards with the correct “solution” were each awarded a complimentary prize bottle of wine for their sleuthing abilities.
But after announcing the winners, Sauter confessed.
Sauter had chosen the identity of the murderer randomly from among the cast. Prior to the play, he had enlisted the actors to write down his or her character’s motive for committing the crimes.
Whodunit? Velma Vavoomski, who blurted out, “I never saw that much chocolate in my life before—and it was good!”
Playgoers said they enjoyed the play immensely. Eloise described herself as an “Elks wife” who had been affiliated with the El Cajon Lodge since 1970. Her guest, Rosemarie McLain, drew her chair close to the stage and said she had not had so much fun in quite awhile.
The El Cajon Elks Lodge #1812 is located at 1400 E. Washington Avenue. The group’s motto is “Elks Care, Elks Share.” More information on this East County fraternal organization, which was established in 1950 as a “Benevolent and Protective Order” for fellowship and charitable volunteering, can be found by calling (619) 444-1812 or by reviewing the group’s website at http://elcajonelks.net.
