Growing up as a closeted, gay kid in a private Christian school where my grandmother was the principal was hard to say the least. Church filled my life six days a week and was reflected in the way I dressed, the way I talked, and the way I acted. It also, unfortunately, was reflected in the way I treated myself and other people. My fellow classmates and I were taught that every aspect of our lives needed to reflect the values of the Christian church because we were representatives of God. And to this day, overcoming this mentality was one of the most difficult and painful things I have ever endured.
I was never so unaccepting of other people, and ideas as I was in the years that I was religious. We were taught from the moment we began learning science, to reject evidence that contradicted traditional Christian ideas of creation. We were also taught to reject others who did not share our religious views, as they were seen to be “rotten apples” that spoil the bunch. And despite learning that it is not our place to judge and condemn others, my church made its stance on gay individuals very clear during the controversy over Proposition 8.
It was extremely difficult as a kid to come to terms with my sexuality when the majority of my immediate world told me that I was going to burn in hell for who I was and for a trait that I never chose for myself. I was forced to hide myself and be a false representation of my thoughts and ideals because of the fear that I would be utterly rejected by my community for the things in my life I had no choice in. And it took me years, well into high school, to finally realize that people choose their religion, and not their human nature or genetics.
No child should ever have to feel as isolated and helpless as I did in the worst years of being in the closet. The mental toll of having to believe that if you are to truly be yourself, you will burn in hell for eternity is devastating as a growing child. It wasn’t until I had fully separated myself from the church and had surrounded myself with those who truly supported me for who I was, that I was able to finally overcome this mindset and be who I was born to naturally be.
But unfortunately for Americans, people are often so distracted by the separation of church and state and our freedom to practice religion that they neglect to acknowledge that these laws do not mean that the Christian church stands on any moral high ground. And it is only through this societal neglect that the church has been able to claim that their behavior and treatment of others is benign and is of no detriment in modern society.
Until the day that religion is no longer forced upon children by parents, until religion stops being the voice of oppression and assimilation, until the word “choice” is not used to disenfranchise others and instead becomes a natural freedom that people have.
Until that day, religion will never truly be benign.
