One group in Santee celebrates in the wake of the Supreme Court’s gay marriage decision. Members of the Santee branch of the PFLAG international organization are applauding because their sons and daughters are now allowed to marry legally in all 50 states. But they know that their work is not done.
PFLAG, which stands for Parents, Families and friends of Lesbians and Gays, is an organization that acts as a support group for families and friends seeking to further their understanding of LGBT family members.
One group in Santee celebrates in the wake of the Supreme Court’s gay marriage decision. Members of the Santee branch of the PFLAG international organization are applauding because their sons and daughters are now allowed to marry legally in all 50 states. But they know that their work is not done.
PFLAG, which stands for Parents, Families and friends of Lesbians and Gays, is an organization that acts as a support group for families and friends seeking to further their understanding of LGBT family members.
This program draws in its majority of participants through the parents of gay or lesbian children trying to understand and come to terms with their children’s sexualities. PFLAG also accepts parents or family members of people who identify with other sexualities such as transgendered or bisexual.
Robert Dryden, a long time member and host said, “We relate to the what our experiences have been, we don’t try to tell them what to do, and we don’t offer them a lot of advice.”
Instead, this program focuses more on offering support through sharing of experiences and personal testimonial from guest speakers.
“We mainly try to tell them what we have done ourselves and what our circumstances have been and how they turned out,” Dryden said. “We hope that in knowing that, it will help them to deal with this new situation.”
Dryden and his wife Mary are long time members of the PFLAG, which offered them a chance to get to learn and understand their son’s homosexuality in a positive environment.
The Santee chapter of the PFLAG is a satellite of the larger PFLAG of San Diego. As such, many of their members attend monthly meetings for the larger San Diego chapter which offers more targeted groups to help offer specific help according to need and their child or family member’s sexuality.
Mar Cardenas is a long time member of PFLAG and a community activist for a vast array of social issues, not only here in San Diego, but in Tijuana as well. She said she is involved because she wants “to make it so that kids can feel free to come out at a young age, and they don’t have to wait for their parents to evolve. It’s not fair to make them wait.”
Cardenas is the “proud mom of a 27 year old girl,” currently serving in Peru as a volunteer for the Peace Corp. Her daughter came out when she was finishing her bachelor’s degree in Social Work. As a long time gay activist, Cardenas was confused as to why her daughter had taken so long to come out. Her daughter later revealed that it was because her father had not yet come to terms with homosexuality in general, but he had been a lot more open to the idea when the time came that she came out.
“Nothing less than a life saving mission,” is how Cardenas and her fellow members describe the work of PFLAG. A huge source of support for the gay community, this organization works by supporting and helping the parents’ transition properly into their new reality. Often times LGBT people are kicked out of their homes, abused, and even attempt suicide after coming out. PFLAG works to prevent such horrible outcomes by assisting in whatever way possible.
Patti Boman is one parent able to find help and support through the PFLAG.
“As a mom I had never heard of PFLAG, I had friends research it when my son came out, because I was too distraught to even look at anything, so my friends started looking and they found it,” said Boman.
She is now an active and long time member, assisting in building up other PFLAG branches across San Diego.
PFLAG meetings in Santee are on the second Monday of every month and are held at the Summit Unitarian Universalist Fellowship Church on Cottonwood Avenue. Their next meeting will be July 13 at 7 p.m.
Santee PFLAG is a part of the Santee and El Cajon collaborative, a community event that brings together many of the religious, health, and social workers together in an effort to promote a better, healthier community. Its hope in participating in such events is to raise awareness of its cause and their program.
For more information got to www.pflag.com.
