Moms can make you break into tears quicker than onions. This is to say that moms make one vulnerable to a need for approval. When your mom is disappointed you assume you are doing wrong. These magical enchantment moms have over their kids should be measured.
Mom and daughter relationships are critical. Imagine someone tells you they do not speak to their mother, do you consider it a red flag? It is odd to not have a basic relationship with your mother. But how good of a relationship can you have?
Moms can make you break into tears quicker than onions. This is to say that moms make one vulnerable to a need for approval. When your mom is disappointed you assume you are doing wrong. These magical enchantment moms have over their kids should be measured.
Mom and daughter relationships are critical. Imagine someone tells you they do not speak to their mother, do you consider it a red flag? It is odd to not have a basic relationship with your mother. But how good of a relationship can you have?
I’m an only child and my father is not a part of my life so I only have one person, my mother. Due to the lack of a fatherly figure my mom had to take both her jobs seriously, she did her role as a mom and dad. Still to this day she acts like she needs to do both sides. Be strict and then comfort me.
Deborah Tannen, in her book, “You’re Wearing That?: Understanding Mothers and Daughters in Conversation” claims that “given mothers’ overactive improvement glands and daughters’ overactive disapproval sensors, mother-daughter is a high-risk relationship.” Moms always have something to say that does imply that you are a bad kid. I used to think of my mom’s comments as criticism, which is a huge mistake in mom to daughter relationships. We think so highly of our mother that we do not want to disappoint them. We want their approval all the time. This is always, not only as kids.
When I was a kid I resented my mom for my father’s leave. I remember a mindset of ‘my mom is the enemy, she hates me.’ How crazy was it for me to legitimate think of my mom as the enemy. We did not have a bad relationship we were just having trouble communicating. In my experience, I needed her to comfort me about the loss of my father. Our problems were based on miscommunications.
My mom and I have been through many rollercoasters, but our family love makes us strong. I’m aware that all mom and daughter relationship is different but we can learn the basics of a good relationship. Without respect you have nothing. Lack of communications is one of the top relationship breakers, of all times. Toxic mom and daughter relationships do exist.
As a teenager with a young mom, we would often shock. We experienced a difference in cultures as I was adapting the American culture and she was not. I wanted freedom. Our definitions of freedom were clearly different. This is a situational example, as I did not explain the way I felt towards my adaptation of the American culture. This comes with the thought of “my mom is old-fashioned,” one need to learn to adapt to the way their mother leads. At one point or another, they will realize that your perspective is different and they might come around and agree with you. You do not have to agree on everything to have a healthy relationship.
If there is one person you should be close to is a mom. I understand that as a teenager you are embarrassed to ask certain questions and have certain conversations but if you are close to your mom this should not be a problem. She is the expert as she sees you every day and is very familiar with the way you interact. If something is off, she is the first one to notice. Communication is key on all types of relationships.
People attempt to tell me that they work so hard when in reality the most hardworking person I know is my mother. I have seen her struggle and face so many obstacles and she has never let me down.
I do not think people are aware of their status in these relationships. Many times I thought I had a good mom and daughter relationship because I had no idea what to compare it to. We need to pay close attention to the relationships that matter, especially those that last forever.
My Mexican values have taught me that family is family and blood is blood. In the Mexican culture, your mom is forever no matter if toxic or not. The family is forever. As much as I love my culture, my perspective is that the pieces do not always fit, if toxic is that “toxic.”
Toxic relationships only waste time and energy. They are not good for your health so just let go of those relationships. My strength depends a lot on my family. They are the ones who will be there to support me, especially my mom. Moms deserve so much love and appreciation but just because they have the motherly power that does not mean they can abuse it. If you have not called your mother in a while I suggest you do so, to check on them at least. Moms definitely notice if you have called or not, they appreciate it because they know that you are thinking of them.
